


Yoga can be fun

by A_mug_of_tea_is_all_I_need



Category: The Hobbit (All Media Types)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Minor Violence, Modern AU, Yoga teacher Bard, injured Thranduil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-16 18:03:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5835478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_mug_of_tea_is_all_I_need/pseuds/A_mug_of_tea_is_all_I_need
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After been in an accident, it is suggested to Thranduil to take up yoga to improve his mobility and flexibility. He just doesn't expect the instructor to be so attractive!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> I am not disabled in anyway, nor have any experience of serious injury so I'm sorry if I get anything wrong. Feel free to point out any mistakes I make.

Thranduil took a last look around the living room and hallway. Once satisfied everything was neat and tidy (no small feat considering Legolas' ability to make a mess), he went in to the kitchen and made a cup of tea. Then he sat down to wait. The instructor should arrive shortly. 

Thranduil still wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not. Elrond (his doctor) said the yoga would help improve mobility on his left side, but what if it made it worse? Caused him more pain than his injury already did? This wasn't his only concern. Thranduil was acutely aware that he had once been beautiful but now was not. People stared at the scars which crisscrossed down one side of his body, making him self-conscious and shy when he was once confident, arrogant even. This was why he had arranged for a personal teacher to come to his house instead of going to a class. But still, someone, basically a stranger, was about to meet him, probably stare obviously at his scars and then proceed to try and teach him to twist his injured body into ridiculous and complicated positions. It was hard for Thranduil to imagine the next hour not being awkward and embarrassing for him. Oh well, it was too late to cancel now. Or was it? Perhaps he could just...but no that was the door. Sighing, Thranduil made his way to the front door, leaning slightly on the cane in his left hand. Mentally bracing himself, he opened the door and immediately vowed to unfriend Elrond.

Standing before him was a tall, though not quite as tall as Thranduil, obscenely attractive man wearing a warm smile and work out clothes with a yoga mat in one hand and holding the other out in front of him. Oh right, yes manners, Thranduil thought to himself and quickly shook the offered hand hoping he hadn't been staring too long.  
"Thranduil?" The man said his name almost tentatively, probably unsure about the pronunciation but Thranduil still enjoyed the way it rolled off his tongue, liking the slight lilt the man's voice carried.  
"Yes that's me. Bard I presume? Come on in," Thranduil replied subtly trying to get his hair to fall forward over the left side of his face (which was pointless as he was going to have to tie his long hair up anyway). Bard's smile widened and goddammit why hadn't Elrond warned him the yoga teacher he'd recommended was so unfairly attractive?! 

Thranduil led Bard into the living room, the place he'd decided was the best suited for yoga. The house on the whole was large and airy, the many windows allowing lots of light to fill the rooms but the lounge's east facing glass wall emphasized this, letting the warm morning sun spill into the house giving it a tranquil feel perfect for yoga. Thranduil allowed this light to calm him before turning back to Bard.  
"Will this do?" Bard nodded in response and Thranduil realized the other man was neither staring at his scars or giving him a pitying look. Instead he was just gazing appreciatively around the room and unrolling his mat in front of the glass wall. This gave Thranduil the perfect opportunity to ogle his instructor some more, eyes catching on the wisps of rich brown hair which escaped Bard's messy bun and travelling up and down the man's slender yet muscled build. He was gorgeous. Thranduil's attention snapped back to Bard's face when he realized he'd been speaking.  
"I'm sorry?" He blushed at the amused smirk which graced Bard's face.  
"I was just wondering if you would prefer music or not?" Bard's voice was as warm as his smile and Thranduil was pretty sure he was in love with the rolling lilt it carried.  
"I don't mind. Whichever you think is best."  
"Well, I tend to find that music helps people focus," Bard mused and so whilst Thranduil unrolled his own mat, Bard fiddled around with his iPod until the pleasant sound of panpipes began to fill the room. Bard then sat crossed leg on his mat, motioning for Thranduil to do the same. This was slightly harder for Thranduil to do and he suddenly longed for the easy grace he'd once possessed. Once seated, he looked up to find Bard's gaze was trained on him and was that his imagination or was there a hint of appreciation there? Surely not. Noticing he'd been caught, Bard merely smiled. Thranduil got the feeling he was rarely not smiling.

"So on the phone you mentioned you were hoping to gain greater mobility and flexibility in your left side?" Thranduil nodded. "Well, obviously yoga is good for flexibility but I'm hesitant to try anything too strenuous so that we don't put too much strain on your injuries. If you don't mind me asking, what exactly are your injuries?" Bard's voice was light, trying to put Thranduil at ease.  
"Mostly burns. The stiffness comes from where they're muscle deep,' Thranduil hoped he would not have to elaborate further, already embarrassed by what he saw as his weakness but Bard merely nodded, a thoughtful look replacing his smile.  
"Right then, this week we'll just start with the basics. You get stuck or if something's painful just tell me." Nervous now that they were about to start, Thranduil barely managed an acquiescent smile.  
"And I'm sorry but you're gonna have to tie back that beautiful hair of yours,' Bard gently teased, startling a huff of laughter from Thranduil before he complied.

All in all, Thranduil decided that yoga wasn't so bad. His opinion was not clouded at all by the fact some of the positions emphasized Bard's toned body beautifully. Not at all. Luckily, Bard kept everything simple, his voice gently guiding Thranduil until he found himself actually enjoying the exercise. Once they'd finished, Bard offered Thranduil a hand, easily pulling him to his feet before handing him his cane. And if Thranduil's grip lingered slightly in Bard's, then who could blame him? 

"So, how was it? Do you think it helped?" Bard genuinely seemed to care about Thranduil's answer. Pausing for a second before he replied, Thranduil found that whilst the dull ache in his left side felt slightly more pronounced, his muscles did seem looser, more free.  
"I feel good," he answered truthfully, enjoying the way Bard lit up at the answer.  
"Well then, same time next week? Perhaps we'll try some more challenging moves as well." This seemed agreeable to Thranduil and he said as much to Bard, leading him back to the door, trying to ignore the feeling of disappointment Bard's departure was bringing. However, just before he left, Bard paused, turning back to look at Thranduil.  
"Say, you're not by any chance related to Legolas are you? Thranduil blinked in surprise.  
"He's my son," he finally managed to reply, wondering how on earth Bard had known. Bard chuckled at his obvious confusion and Thranduil was filled with the urge to hear that delightful sound again.  
"I thought so. The hair gives it away. Although I have to say yours may be even more unusual and definitely prettier," he followed up this baffling comment with a wink, completely throwing Thranduil. Was Bard flirting, with him? Deciding to ignore this frankly unbelievable development, Thranduil asked Bard how he knew his son.  
"My youngest, Tilda, and he are best friends. It's not really considered the weekend if Legolas doesn't make an appearance. But since we've never met before, I'm guessing Galion always picks him up and drops him off." Bard's guess was in fact correct. Galion, his driver, had always ferried Legolas around even before the accident as Thranduil had always been too busy and afterwards, Thranduil preferred to stay in the house rather than open himself up to the stares of the public. But perhaps that would change now he knew who was waiting for him at Legolas' friends house. This thought was interrupted by Bard.  
"I believe those two made plans for him to come to tea on Monday. You're welcome to join us. My vegetarian cooking has greatly improved since Legolas started coming over." Thranduil was agreeing before he even realized and he watched as Bard drove away, leaving Thranduil feeling happier than he had in a while and with plans to arrive at the Bowman household at six on Monday. Thranduil closed the door and went to the kitchen to set about preparing lunch ready for Legolas' return. Hmmm...ice cream was a perfectly acceptable lunch right?


	2. Dinner at the Bowmans'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and the kudos. They're really encouraging :)

Bard was freaking out. Thranduil's house had been so lovely, so tidy, so large. The Bowman household on the other hand was none of those things. Well okay, it was lovely to Bard and his kids but he could only imagine what Thranduil would make of the cluttered rooms and cramped spaces. He had no idea why he'd even invited the other man round (that was a lie, he knew exactly why and it was all to do with those beautiful eyes and that shy smile). 

"Da! Da!" A small voice interrupted his thoughts. Looking up from the dough he was preparing, Bard was met with the image of Tilda, his youngest daughter, and Legolas. Both were smiling widely and slightly out of breath from running down the stairs.

"Yes darling?"

"Legolas' dad will be here soon!" Glancing at the clock, Bard realized she was right. it was almost six, the time he'd told Thranduil to arrive. Was he ready? Hmmmm....the pasta (pumpkin and walnut filled tortellini) was ready to go, the sauce gently simmering away, the garlic bread dough just about prepared and the house was as tidy as it was going to get. This did nothing to calm the butterflies fluttering in his stomach. God, why was he so nervous?! Just then there was a knock at the door. Tilda and Legolas raced off, Bard following at a slightly more leisurely pace (but only slightly).

Tilda opened the door to reveal Thranduil and wow, he looked stunning. Dressed in a pair of tight black jeans, thick green jumper and with a soft lilac scarf draped elegantly around his neck, Thranduil looked amazing and Bard couldn't help but stare. He would have been embarrassed if not for the way Thranduil's own eyes were raking up and down his form. The moment was broken by a shout of "Ada!" followed by a small blur throwing itself at Thranduil. 

"Good evening little leaf. Good day at school?" Bard enjoyed the gentle look Thranduil was giving his son, thinking it softened the angular lines of his impressive cheek bones. Nodding and letting go of his father, Legolas stood back to let him in. Bard was about to say hello when Thranduil stopped, his way blocked by the small form of Tilda. The girl's eyes were trained on Thranduil and Bard panicked, wondering if he should have mentioned the scars. His daughter's gaze was obviously making the other man uncomfortable and Bard was about to intervene when his little girl lit up with a broad grin.

"Da was right. You do have pretty hair! It's soooooooo beautiful!" Tilda's tone was filled with awe and Bard grinned to himself when he saw the light dusting of pink on Thranduil's cheeks. And with that comment, Tilda turned away, heading back upstairs and dragging Legolas with her. Chuckling to himself, Bard managed to close the door at last and finally got to greet Thranduil. Or he would have done if he didn't suddenly find himself at a loss for words.

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Thranduil had been excited and nervous for Monday since Bard had left on Saturday. When Legolas had gotten back from whereever he'd been with Galion, they'd changed into their pajamas and lounged around eating ice-cream whilst Thranduil had quizzed him about Tilda and her father. He'd discovered that the Bowmans' had only moved to Greenwood last year which was when Legolas and Tilda had become friends and that Legolas liked Bard immensely. In fact, Legolas had happily babbled on about how awesome Bard was for about half an hour. All in all, it had been a perfect afternoon with his little leaf.

By Monday afternoon, Thranduil was more nervous than excited. He hadn't really left his property in over a year. Too worried about his scars and preferring the seclusion his home offered. Whilst Bard hadn't seemed particularly bothered about his disfigurement, how would his children react? And what, exactly, did this dinner mean? Was it a friendly invitation? Or, and if Thranduil was being honest with himself this was what he hoped, was it a date? However, his shattered confidence wouldn't let him believe this.

Galion dropped him off at 17:59 and Thranduil wondered who the gardener was in the family. Bard's garden, whilst small, was beautifully kept with a colorful array of flowers and an abundance of ivy winding endearingly up one side of the house. The house itself was probably not even half the size of his own but it looked warm and inviting and Thranduil found himself looking forward to going inside. Walking up the paved path, he paused for a second before knocking, trying to calm his nerves. Taking a deep breath and telling himself not to expect too much (after all what would a man like Bard see in him?) Thranduil knocked. The door swung open about a second later to reveal a small girl grinning up at him and beyond her Bard, managing to look ridiculously attractive in just a pair of faded jeans and a plaid shirt. There was a tense moment when he realized Bard's daughter was staring at him, but then she just complimented his hair and Thranduil felt himself relax. Perhaps he'd had no reason to be nervous after all.

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Bard's mind was racing and yet he couldn't come up with a single thing to say. The last time he'd felt this awkward was just before he'd asked his future wife out for the first time. If he remembered correctly, he'd ended up mumbling something incoherent before trying to run away only to trip and send both him and Sarah tumbling to the floor.  
But he'd still been a teenager then and now he was a grown man for crying out loud! With three kids! This shouldn't be so hard.  
In the end, it was Thranduil who broke the silence which had fallen between them.

"Not to worry you, but is something burning?" Realizing the other man was right, Bard swore, whirling round and heading into the kitchen. The sauce he'd left gently simmering was boiling over, somehow managing to stick to the bottom of the pan at the same time.

"I'm no expert but I think that's beyond saving," came Thranduil's mirth filled voice from behind him. Sighing, Bard had to admit he had a point. Luckily the sauce was quick and easy to make. Turning back around, he saw that Thranduil had seated himself at the breakfast bar, a smile on his face. It had a bunching effect on the scars around his left eye but Bard thought he looked beautiful nonetheless. 

"So this is a minor set back but everything will probably be ready in half an hour-ish. Can I get you something to drink in the meantime? Tea, juice, wine?" Bard tried to remember if he had any decent bottles and concluded that he probably didn't. It had been his wife who was the wine expert. 

"Wine would be perfect." Searching his fridge, Bard produced a bottle of red and a bottle of white, holding both up for Thranduil to see. "White is fine thank you". 

"I'm sure it's not exactly the quality you're used to," Bard said, a gentle teasing tone to his voice as he handed over a glass to Thranduil. Thranduil smiled, he could do this. He was good at teasing. Well, he had been. He supposed he was bit out of practice now.

"I'll have you know I regularly drink wine from the supermarket." Bard pulled a face in mock horror.

"Not the supermarket!"

After that, conversation flowed smoothly as Thranduil sipped his wine and Bard busied himself in the kitchen. Bard reassured Thranduil it had been no problem to cook vegetarian food for Legolas when he came round. Adding that it had opened up his children's minds to the possibility not all vegetables were disgusting. In turn, Thranduil learnt that before yoga, Bard had competed professionally in Archery, only giving it up when Sigrid was born. 

Both men soon found themselves relaxing in each others company. Occasionally laughing at the curious sounds coming from Tilda's room and at the terrible jokes Bard made.  
Dinner itself was a warm affair. Thranduil made the delightful discovery that Bard's food was delicious and he met Sigrid, Bard's eldest (Bain had rugby practice). It became obvious that Legolas was very comfortable here, exchanging excited chatter with Tilda and joining in Sigrid's teasing of Bard. All in all, Thranduil greatly enjoyed the experience, which made the prospect of leaving rather unpleasant. However, a nine o'clock, he heard the familiar sounds of Galion pulling up and knew it was time to go.  
Legolas and Tilda shared a despondent goodbye, only cheering up when Bard pointed out they'd be seeing each other the very next day at school. With that, Legolas ran outside to see Galion, leaving Thranduil hovering in the doorway with Bard, Sigrid and Tilda having disappeared upstairs.  
Bard didn't want Thranduil to go, or Legolas. Which was ridiculous really, considering he'd met Thranduil exactly twice but that didn't change the fact he wanted him to stay. He was about suggest they did this again soon when he noticed the hesitant look on Thranduil's face. 

"Are you ok? Is something wrong?" Thranduil shook his head before turning away and Bard wondered if that was that but then Thranduil was turning back around.

"Was this a date?" The question threw Bard a little bit. Hadn't that been clear? But then he took in the worry in Thranduil's eyes, the unsure tilt to his shoulders, how he was standing slightly side ways as if to try and hide his scars. And he realized just how self conscious the other man was. That would change, he thought to himself, he'd make sure of it. In the meantime though...

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Thranduil hadn't meant to be so blunt but he'd had to know. He hadn't thought it possible but the smiles and looks Bard had been giving him had confused him, leading to now with Bard standing opposite him, looking slightly shocked. Thranduil sighed, of course it hadn't been a date and now he'd managed to ruin whatever fledgling friendship they'd had. Dejected, he turned to leave only to be stopped by a warm hand on his shoulder, turning him back around. Surprised, Thranduil turned to see Bard, wearing an exasperated look and standing much closer than before.

"Wha-" But he never finished. Instead, Bard silenced him with a kiss. Warm, slightly chapped lips were on his and Thranduil couldn't help his moan when Bard moved one of his hands to tangle in his hair. After a few blissful moments, Bard pulled back, moving to lean their foreheads together.  
"You're an idiot." Thranduil blushed and ducked his head, leaning into Bard.

"Well it wasn't exactly clear," he muttered into the plaid clad shoulder in front of him. "And anyway, you're breath smells like garlic." 

"Oh. Is that so?" Looking up, Thranduil saw Bard's eyes sparkling with mischief. "Well then, I guess you won't want me kissing you again." Rolling his eyes in answer, Thranduil surprised Bard by surging forwards, pressing their lips together in a more desperate way than before. Whimpering as Bard pushed him against the wall, Thranduil dropped his cane in favour of wrapping his arms around Bard's neck. They could have stayed there all night getting lost in each other but a small noise of disgust interrupted them.

"Ewwwwwwww! Ada, stop kissing Bard!" Breaking apart, both men chuckled to see the petulant expression on Legolas' face. " You've been ages Ada and I'm tired," he whined.

"Okay little leaf. Let's go home and get you to bed."

Bard bent to pick up the dropped cane, passing it to Thranduil with a smile. 

"I'll see you soon?" 

Thranduil grinned.

"Definitely."


	3. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of angst in this chapter

Bard did indeed see Thranduil soon. He and the kids were invited to dinner on Wednesday and then there was yoga on the Saturday. It was Thranduil's idea for the children to come to that too, spending the hour with Legolas and Galion before enjoying the afternoon with Bard and Thranduil. Soon, it became normal for Saturdays to be spent at Thranduil's. Most of the time they were outside in the sprawling greenness which was Thranduil's garden (although since much of this was woodland Bard wasn't sure if the word garden quite covered it). 

There were make believe adventures where Bard somehow always ended up being the bad guy and even some real ones which mainly involved Thranduil and Tilda managing to get lost together. Lazy kisses were traded whilst the kids ran around, and when it rained, they moved inside, getting lost in whatever films they wanted or building dens out of blankets and pillows. It would have scared Bard how quickly they seemed to fit together as a family, if he wasn't too busy enjoying the experience.

It was on one such Saturday that Bard finally asked the question he'd been toying with.

"Come to dinner with me?" Thranduil looked up from the book he'd been reading. They usually had dinner together at least once a week so this wasn't such an odd request.

"Of course. Here or at yours?" 

"No, I mean let me take you to a restaurant," seeing the look on Thranduil's face, Bard hurried on. "My friend owns a place. It's small and quiet, the food's amazing and it has a lovely atmosphere."

Thranduil was torn. Around Bard he'd grown comfortable, some of his old confidence coming back but he still hadn't left his property apart from his trips to Bard's. Logically, he knew he couldn't hide from the world forever and deep down, he knew he didn't want to. But still, he was scared. Terrified actually. Of the stares, the whispers, what people would say when they thought he couldn't hear. Bard had only lived here a year, he didn't know what had happened. Others knew though and they would remember. It had been all the town could talk about.

But Bard was smiling gently at him, encouraging without even needing to speak.

"Ok."

Bard's smile grew wider.

They made plans for the next Friday. Legolas had been invited to his friend Aragorn's house whilst Bard's mother was taking his kids to Whitby for the weekend. Bard would pick Thranduil up at seven and Thranduil would do his best not to have a panic attack. It was a good plan.

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Answering the door on Friday, Thranduil was taken aback. Used to seeing Bard in loose work out clothes or the seemingly ever present plaid shirt and jeans, he was completely unprepared for the sight of Bard in tailored trousers and a deep blue button down, his usually untidy hair brushed and falling loose around his shoulders.

"See something you like?" Bard's teasing voice jolted Thranduil out of his staring. But instead of blushing, he surprised them both by smirking before brazenly appraising Bard once more.

"Indeed I do," he drawled in reply. That was his old self shining through. The Thranduil who had known how beautiful he was and had reveled in it.

"Well then, shall we?" And with that reminder, Thranduil's new found confidence fell down around his ears. He couldn't do this, he'd hidden himself away too long. Bard must have noticed something panicked about his expression because he was leaning in, bringing a warm hand under Thranduil's chin to tilt his head up, making the other man meet his eyes. "Hey, it's okay. People are going to stare but if your scars really bother them, then they're not worth knowing. I think you're beautiful. Legolas thinks you're beautiful. Ever since Tilda met you she hasn't stopped talking about how pretty you are. Does what anyone else thinks really matter?" 

Thranduil was helpless against the warmth he found in Bard's eyes, the sense his words made. His panic calmed and he pressed a soft kiss to Bard's lips before allowing himself to be led to the car. He was determined to enjoy tonight.

When they entered the restaurant (Thranduil firmly linking his hand with Bard's), they were greeted by a tall, auburn haired man. His eyes lingered on Thranduil's scars for a moment but his smile was sincere enough as he guided them to a table. 

Looking around, Thranduil was extremely conscious of the stares and whispers but he also took in the elegantly simple décor and beautiful artwork which adorned the walls.

"Your friend has good taste." 

Bard smiled.

"Aye, he does. Here he comes now." Looking where Bard was pointing, Thranduil saw a man who could safely be described as average. Average height, average weight, average looks. The only thing not average about him was the ridiculously wide smile spreading across his face. It made his whole being seem brighter.

"Bard! Good to see you. How have you been?" The man asked, clapping Bard on the back, who chuckled.

"You mean since we talked yesterday Percy? Pretty good." The man, Percy, grinned even wider in reply before turning his attention to the other man seated at the table. "And you must be the elusive Thranduil! You've been all Bard's talked about the last few months. It's good to finally meet you." Thranduil ducked his head shyly, raising his eyebrows at Bard who just shrugged, smiling slightly. " You'll be glad to know we have an extensive vegetarian menu," Percy continued, seemingly not needing a reply from Thranduil. "And that I will be personally cooking your food tonight."

Finally finding his voice Thranduil, his tone dead-pan, replied, "I suppose that is meant to be reassuring." Percy threw back his head and laughed.

"I like you."

Bard, choking back laughter of his own, swatted at Percy.

"Now he's gained your approval, don't you have a kitchen to run?"

"Okay, okay. I can take a hint. I'm leaving. See you later Thranduil." 

Left alone, the couple fell into easy conversation, Thranduil casting nervous looks around the restaurant every so often. After they'd ordered, Bard reached across the table to gently take his hand.

"Stop." Bard's voice was soft yet firm. "Thran, you look stunning." And it was true. Thranduil's silver blonde hair was in an intricate braid, woven with flowers (Legolas' idea), his bright blue eyes were sparkling and the intimate light playing across his face softened the harsh lines of his scars. "You have no need to be worried." Hearing the complete belief Bard had in his words and seeing the affection evident in his face, Thranduil started to believe it. 

From then on, the night flowed smoothly. Percy appearing with their food (which they both agreed was delectable) and Thranduil no longer caring if people were trying to stealthily (although they usually failed at this part) steal looks at him. 

They'd just finished dessert (deconstructed toffee and apple crumble for Bard and black cherry cheesecake for Thranduil) when a crash sounded from the kitchen. Thinking nothing of it, the buzz in the restaurant barely dimmed before people were continuing with their conversations. Then two things happened at once: the shrill unmistakable shrieking of a fire alarm echoed through the room and someone, who Bard distantly recognized as Percy, burst out of the kitchen yelling, "FIRE!".

Things escalated quickly after that. Thick black smoke crept into the room and people began to pour out of the exits. Grabbing Thranduil's hand, Bard pulled him to his feet, leading him out through the front doors and into the cool night air. Sirens could already be heard in the distance and Bard sighed in relief, realizing the crowd's panic had exaggerated the severity of the situation.

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Thranduil did not share in this relief. In fact, he didn't even realize he was outside. He was still trapped but not in the restaurant. The room he was seeing was from a different time. Flames were licking up the walls, devouring everything in their path. The heat was over powering and Thranduil realized he was going to be burnt alive. He couldn't move, he couldn't think and he was going to be burnt alive. Smoke clogged his lungs and he couldn't breathe and the flames were so close now. He was going to be burnt alive.

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Ragged breathing alerted Bard to the fact that something was wrong. Turning to look at Thranduil, Bard saw panic stricken blue eyes and the jerking of his chest as Thranduil fought for short, gasping gulps of air. Acting quickly, Bard pulled him down the street until they were far away from the smoking restaurant. Then, drawing the other man into his arms, he whispered words of comfort into Thranduil's ear. Retelling stories of Tilda's latest acts of mischief, the essay Sigrid was writing, what plans Bain had with his friends next weekend, how Legolas had mispronounced 'Dumbledore'. Slowly, Bard brought Thranduil back into the present and far away from the pain of the past. 

"Bard?" It was more of a sob than anything, a barely recognizable mess of syllables but it was enough.

"I'm here. You're okay. I'm okay. Everything's okay," Bard reassured him. Thranduil nodded, pressing his face to Bard's shoulder as his breathing returned to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything will be revealed next chapter. Thanks for reading :)


	4. All Night Cafe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a bit short but it's mainly to describe what happened to Thranduil.

When asked, Thranduil had said he hadn't wanted to return home yet so Bard had taken him to a small 24 hour café. It was cramped, untidy and the waitress was extremely surly but it was warm and, more importantly, it served nice tea. Glancing at Thranduil, Bard was glad to see the tormented look in his eyes had disappeared and a small smile playing about his lips.

"Do you bring all your dates here?"

Bard shook his head.

"Just the ones I'm trying to impress. Is it working?" Their voices were light and if Thranduil wasn't willing to talk properly just yet, then Bard was not willing to push. He'd raised three kids, he knew how to be patient.

The waitress came over with their tea, setting it down in front of them with a slight thud. Thranduil reached for the milk, carefully not looking at Bard as he began to speak.  
"Before you moved here, before Legolas. before I met my wife, I worked in," Thranduil paused, thinking over his words carefully. "Intelligence you might say." Bard wasn't sure what he had expected Thranduil to say, but it wasn't that.

"You were a spy?"

"I didn't sneak around stealing top secret reports and assassinating the bad guys if that's what you're asking. But technically, I was a spy yes. It's how I met Elerrian. She was a researcher. One of our best," at this Thranduil smiled sadly. "In the end that's what got her killed. She was just too damn clever." Bard wasn't sure a dingy, all night café was the best place for this discussion but he wasn't about to stop Thranduil. Instead he just took hold of his hand, entwining their fingers, and gently squeezing them in support.

" Elerrian had just returned to work from maternity leave and we knew a major target had entered England. She called herself Shelob. People trafficking, drugs, contract killing, nothing was beyond her. But she was always just one step ahead of us. I think she delighted in how she could play us but either way, she remained free and the death toll was rising. Everyone was stressed, my competence was being questioned, we hardly ever saw Legolas. I was at a disciplinary hearing when Elerrian called. She'd found something, Shelob had slipped up and all Elerrian had to do was follow her trail. It was easy to plan her arrest after that but there must have been a leak somewhere because the next day, Shelob had disappeared. The only thing she'd left behind was my wife's corpse." Thranduil's voice was toneless, detached from the horrors of his tale. 

Bard wanted to tell him to stop, that he didn't have to continue but Thranduil didn't give him chance.

"After that, I became obsessed with capturing Shelob. I neglected Legolas. I didn't even attend Elerrian's funeral. A man, Thorin, had also lost much to Shelob and her allies. We'd never got along but in this we worked ceaselessly. Together, we hunted her down to a small village in rural China. We didn't kill her, instead we dropped her off in Russia where she was wanted on twelve charges of murder. I believe she's still serving a life sentence of hard labour in some godforsaken part of Siberia." This fact seemed to bring some expression back into Thranduil's face and voice, his eyes lighting up with savage glee. 

"I returned home to find Legolas had turned two without me even realizing. Galion had been more of a father to him than I had and I knew Elerrian would have been disappointed in me. So I quit, the only person I kept in contact with was Thorin and I finally got to know my Little Leaf. I still felt Elerrian's loss but I was happier. " Thranduil sighed and Bard dreaded what was coming next. Obviously something had gone wrong for Thranduil to end up so scarred. "I grew complacent. Foolishly, I thought it had ended with Shelob's imprisonment but I had overlooked her followers. Thorin and I both had. He paid for it with his life. We'd made plans to go out for drinks, not unusual, but when I went to pick him up, I found him unconscious and heavily injured in his flat. I found myself in a similar way not long after. They killed him in front of me and it was neither quick nor painless . I can still remember his cries." Thranduil's mask of detachment broke completely and he let out a broken gasp. Wanting to take away his pain but not knowing how, Bard settled for getting up and reseating himself in the spot next to Thranduil so he could wrap the other man up in a hug. He noticed the waitress giving them a curious look but couldn't bring himself to particularly care, too concerned with the man in his arms.

Thranduil pulled himself together after a minute in Bard's embrace. Taking a deep breath he rested his head on Bard's shoulder and prepared himself to continue. 

"After they'd killed Thorin, they shifted their attention to me. I was tied to a chair in the kitchen, dazed and disorientated from a blow to the head. When my head finally cleared, the room was ablaze and my whole world was on fire. The last thing I remember is the floor collapsing and excruciating pain. Then nothing. Afterwards, I found out that I'd been rescued by Thorin's nephews. It seemed Shelob's followers had sent them a taunting message before they'd even killed Thorin, underestimating their sharp intelligence and quick thinking. They arrived just in time to drag me to safety. My injuries were extensive and I spent six months in hospital. Legolas passed another birthday without me and when I was finally released I became a recluse," stopping for a moment, Thranduil raised his head to look at Bard his expression sorrowful but a slight smile on his face. "Or at least, I did until I met a certain yoga instructor."

Bard just stared, unable to comprehend how someone who had suffered so much could still smile, still laugh.

"You are the strongest person I know," he said softly, looking into Thranduil's eyes so he knew he meant it. 

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After making a quick call to check Percy was ok (he was and his insurance would cover all fire damage), Bard had taken Thranduil home, not questioning when he'd been invited inside. By this time, it was close to three in the morning and both men collapsed into bed, too physically and emotionally drained for it to be anything other than chaste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff coming up.


	5. Oh No

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've expanded Galion's role from that of simply driver. He's kind of a mixture of driver/housekeeper/friend.

"Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. As you inhale, move your arms slowly from your sides, up and over, extending them as far as you can behind your head."  
It was Monday morning and Bard was teaching his first class of the week. Body on auto-pilot, he allowed his mind to wander (which was the opposite point of yoga), remembering the events of the weekend.

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After the revelations of Friday night, he'd woken up late, Thranduil curled up tight against his side rather like a cat which Bard had found a most agreeable way to start the day. They hadn't had time to do much other than exchange sleepy smiles before Galion had returned with Legolas who had proceeded to express his great delight at finding Bard in his home by throwing himself on top of him. What had followed was a long and drawn out tickle battle, which only ended when Thranduil and Legolas had Bard begging for mercy and unable to breathe from laughing so much. 

Finally deciding to get out of bed, the three had moved downstairs where Galion had prepared breakfast/lunch. Bard had called his mother to check she and the kids were alright (they were and were all enjoying their weekend away) and then donned some of Thranduil's clothes so he could spend the afternoon outside, running around after Legolas whilst Thranduil lounged about reading. 

Given that Galion had the rest of the weekend off, in the evening they'd eaten Chinese take out and curled up on the couch to watch Up. Surprisingly, this was one of Thranduil's favourite films (Bard had had him pegged as a fan of high-browed dramas rather than children's animations). Putting a rather sleepy but happy Legolas to bed around nine, Bard and Thranduil had enjoyed a couple of hours to themselves discussing everything from books, to philosophy, to the environment (both Bard and Thranduil were big believers in green energy). Bard had told the story of him and Sarah, explaining how there'd been complications during Tilda's birth and the doctors just hadn't been able to save her. At some point they'd returned to the couch where Thranduil had kissed Bard's pain away and of course, this had escalated into a full blown make-out session which only ended when Bard had pointed out Legolas was just upstairs and Thranduil was by no means quiet. They'd then enjoyed another night entangled in one another, content just to be in each other's company.

Bard had gone home early on Sunday afternoon to prepare for his kid's arrival. Managing to do the bare minimum housework in order to make the house presentable, he'd set about getting their stuff ready for school the next day: ironing uniforms, washing P.E kits, signing Bain's permission slip for a history trip. Eventually collapsing into a chair in the kitchen with a cup of tea, he'd watched the clock impatiently. As much as he'd enjoyed his stay with Thranduil, he'd missed his kids and wanted them home. Also, he knew he needed to have a talk with them. Ever since first meeting Thranduil, Bard had suspected he was falling hard for him but the past couple of days had confirmed this and whilst he was pretty sure Tilda was as an enamored with Thranduil as he was, he needed to double check with all his kids that this was ok. 

It had been approaching seven when he'd heard a car pulling up and he'd rushed to open the door in time to receive an armful of Tilda yelling "Da! I missed you sooooo much." Reassuring her she'd been missed too, Bard had then been engulfed in a hug by Sigrid and Bain. It felt good to have them back. Released from the family hug, he'd turned to his mother.

"Hey mum. Thanks for having them. They behaved?"

"Like angels as usual," she'd replied smiling. "Listen, I can't stay love, I've got an early start tomorrow, but remember that I'm happy to have then anytime." Bard had shook his head also smiling. His mother was well past sixty but try telling her that. 

"Alright. I'll see you soon?"

Getting back into her car she'd called, "That depends, will I be meeting this Thranduil I've heard so much about then too?" Staring speechless at her car as she'd driven away, Bard had then turned to his kids, eyebrows raised. At least they'd had the sense to look sheepish.

"Sorry Da. Tilda mentioned him and you know how Grandma is, she had us telling her all about him within minutes," apologized Sigrid. Bard couldn't really blame them. He remembered when his mother had first met Sarah. His mum had had her spilling her life story without Sarah even realizing.

"No, it's ok. She was going to have found out eventually." Relief evident on their faces, his kids had all headed inside. Following them, Bard checked they'd eaten and then proceeded to wrestle a reluctant Tilda into the bath ("But Daaaaaaaa! I had a shower yesterday!") whilst Sigrid and Bain unpacked. Emerging from the bathroom sopping wet as if he'd been in a bath himself, Bard had put his youngest to bed without too much hassle. Quietly slipping out after reading Tilda's bedtime story, he'd paused when her sleepy voice had reached him.

"Are you going to marry Thranduil Da?"

"Perhaps one day darling but let's not get ahead of ourselves." Bard smiled as his daughter nodded her head wisely.

" That seems sensible but it would be so cool if Legolas was my brother Da," and as an after thought she added. "And he makes you happy." Bard's heart may or may not have melted at that point and he had definitely felt lighter as he headed downstairs. Now he just had to make sure his other two were ok with his blossoming relationship.

Finding Bain and Sigrid in front of the tv, Bard had offered to make everyone tea (their first clue something was wrong) and had then sat down on the armchair across from the couch, staring intently at his children without actually saying anything (their second clue something was wrong).

"Um, Da?" Sigrid finally ventured. "Did you want something?"

"Oh right, yeah," he mumbled in reply. "Well, you've probably realised that me and Thranduil.....errrrrrm....are," Christ this wasn't going well Bard thought. What the hell, he was just going to say it. "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him. Thoughts?" 

Bain and Sigrid were staring at him wide eyed. Again, it was Sigrid who dared to speak first.

"And you're telling us this why?" 

"Well...I just wanted to check you were ok with it."

Bain snorted, rolling his eyes. "If we weren't ok with it don't you think we'd have said something the night he came to dinner and you practically made out in our hallway? Or after one of the countless Saturdays spent at his house where you two just moon over each other? Which is actually kind of pathetic now you mention it Da."

Bard spluttered for a few moments. "You-you weren't even here that night."

"Yeah Sigrid told me. She was spying from the top of the stairs."

Punching her brother in the arm, Sigrid muttered her apology. Although the tone of her voice told Bard she didn't really regret it.

"Anyway, what Bain's trying to say is that we're happy for you Da. Thranduil's awesome and Legolas is adorable and we have no problem with either of them." Bard smiled, feeling truly relieved and glad to have his children's blessing. Half an hour later, they'd said goodnight and scampered off to bed, Bard following not too long after. 

He'd fallen asleep thinking of long silvery hair and smiling blue eyes. 

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Coming back to himself, Bard realised he'd just talked his class through their final move and was in fact finished. Saying goodbye to his regulars, Bard turned to gather up his things when he realised there was still one person left.

"Oh hey Elrond," he greeted the tall brunette warmly. Not only did he enjoy Elrond's company but he also had him to thank for introducing him and Thranduil.

"Good morning Bard. I'm just about to head over to Thranduil's for his check up and I just wanted your view on the effects of the yoga." Bard, enjoying the calm aura Elrond always seemed to project, thought about his answer for a few seconds.

"Well I think it's done him some good. A few times I know it's aggravated the ache in his left side," And hadn't Bard just felt terrible to discover Thranduil was in near constant, if dull, pain? "But overall it's improved his mobility and I think he's feeling better in himself."

Smiling softly Elrond teased, "Are you sure that's only down to the yoga?" Unsure of how much Elrond knew and blushing slightly, Bard feigned innocence, answering with a non-committal shrug. Still smiling, Elrond had let it go, thanking Bard for his opinion before leaving for his appointment with Thranduil.

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Despite the panic attack triggered by his last venture out in public, Thranduil decided to accompany Legolas to school for the first time since the fire. The happiness on his Little Leaf's face when he'd told him, made it worth the nerves fluttering in his stomach. Grabbing his coat and ignoring the surprised look on Galion's face, Thranduil told himself to stop being such a baby. He didn't even need to get out of the car if he didn't want to. 

In the car, Thranduil let Legolas' familiar chatter wash over him. It seemed he, Aragorn and Tilda were supposed to give a class presentation today about space and he was a little nervous. 

"I'm sure you're worried about nothing Little Leaf and anyway even if you mess up a little bit, just remember it won't be as bad as the time I tripped and landed face first on my way up to do Show and Tell."

Wide eyed and giggling, Legolas asked, "Did that really happen Ada?"

"Yes and no one ever let me forget it," replied Thranduil smiling down at his son, happy in the knowledge he'd managed to reassure him. Watching Legolas run into school from the safety of the car, Thranduil was startled to realise Galion had been talking to him.

"Sorry, can you repeat that?"

"I was just wondering if you'd like to go shopping as well. I was planning on picking up a few things for the week." Galion's voice was neutral, non-pressuring but Thranduil grimaced anyway.

"I don't think so. Small steps and all that and anyway, Elrond's coming round later so I need to prepare. Can you just drop me back at home before you go?"

"Of course."

Once home, Thranduil set about making sure the house was decent for Elrond. Despite not knowing each other before his stay in hospital, the two had become good friends even with Thranduil's initial insecurities. Elrond's 'check ups' usually ended up resembling bitching sessions (well, Elrond bitched whilst Thranduil listened, offering his withering observations from time to time) and this time he was looking forward to telling Elrond about Bard. 

Punctual as ever, the knock had come at exactly eleven o'clock. After asking the perfunctory questions about Thranduil's health, his pain levels, his state of mind etc., they'd soon relaxed in the living room with some tea and biscuits. The following hours were very pleasant and Elrond was delighted to find out about him and Bard (although Thranduil was really just confirming the suspicions he already had). In turn, Thranduil learnt all about Elrond's new colleague, Lindir, teasing him about the dreamy tone Elrond adopted when he described him. 

Elrond had just left when his phone rang. Eager to answer in case it was Bard, Thranduil quickly sat back down and pulled his mobile from his pocket. Disappointment flashed through him when he saw it wasn't. Strange he thought as he answered, he didn't recognize the number....

"Здравствуйте Thranduil."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guess who it is?


	6. Trouble Comes Knocking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took longer than usual. Updates should be back to regular now. Hope you enjoy! :)

Thranduil watched the bleak, Siberian countryside flash by. His head was leaning gently against the window and his thoughts drifted to the woman in the back seat. She was quiet now but a few minutes earlier colourful curses had streamed out of her mouth, insulting everything from their mothers to their sexuality in a vast array of languages. Perhaps she'd finally accepted her fate, mused Thranduil, or at least realised Thorin was being completely truthful when he'd told her to shut up or he'd happily put a bullet in her brain. The other man was silent now too, staring at the road ahead and gripping the steering wheel tightly. Thranduil could understand that. The past few months had been intense, a desperate hunt for the woman who had caused them both so much pain and now they finally had her, well, it was a little hard to believe. 

"We're here." Thorin's voice was low and grim. "Are you sure you wouldn't just rather shoot her and be done with it?" Thranduil shook his head.

"She doesn't deserve a quick death. I want her to waste away here, forgotten and alone. I want her to die freezing and without hope after years of grueling labor knowing that no one gives a shit about her. And, as she closes her eyes, I want her to know that there won't be a funeral, that there'll be no marker. Instead, she'll be thrown into a mass grave and left to rot." His voice was harsh, uncompromising and shook with a hatred that took even Thorin by surprise, but he nodded anyway, he knew the desperate desire for revenge better than anyone. 

"Alright. Let's dump this bitch and go home." Thranduil smiled wickedly in response. His new friend had such a way with words.

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"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no," Thranduil gasped, thick dread coiling in his stomach. 

"Missed me much?" The voice crooned, tone sugary sweet. Taking deep breaths, Thranduil tried to calm himself. Perhaps he'd fallen down the stairs and hit his head and this was just a nightmare. Or maybe he'd accidentally taken the wrong amount of medication and now he was hallucinating. Because this couldn't be real. It just couldn't. After everything else, it would be too cruel for this to be actually happening. "Hmmmm, I understand. Your joy at my return is too great to be expressed by anything but silence."

"What do you want?" He barely recognized his own voice it was so ragged. 

"What do I want?" And suddenly the voice wasn't so sweet and sugary anymore. It was an angry hiss. "I want twelve years of my life back Thranduil. I want not to be covered in scars from beatings I didn't deserve. I want back the three fingers I lost to frost bite. But, and this is truly my heart's desire, what I want most, is to take everything from you until you are a broken husk of a man with nothing and no one and you will beg me to end you." The tirade stopped for a moment. "And I will....eventually. After I've had some fun with you of course."

Thranduil paled and he started to shake. "No please Shelob. I will beg if you want but please, please end this now. We were even. Don't do this." 

Shelob laughed. A dark sound, truly terrifying for the hint of madness which could be found in it. "Even? I hardly think so. But we will be. Soon. Because, Thranduil, can you guess whose house I'm standing in front of now? I'll give you a hint. There's a grey car, a Citroen I believe, parked outside and some delightful flowers in the garden. And oh, isn't that ivy just quaint? It really is the pinnacle of English charm." The line went dead as Thranduil's scream echoed through the house.

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As Bard only taught one class on a Monday, he usually spent the afternoon doing housework. However, on this Monday, he was doing something rather different. Sigrid had come downstairs that morning, a bright smile on her facing asking what he had planned for the upcoming Saturday. Mind racing, Bard had checked to see if it was anyone's birthday (it was not), if Bain had a rugby match or Sigrid an archery tournament (he didn't think so) and then wondered if he'd promised Tilda something (he was almost sure he hadn't). Seeing Bard's confusion, Sigrid's face had fallen and she'd sighed. 

"Six months Da. This Saturday will be exactly six months since your first yoga session with Thranduil and this whole thing started." Thinking back, Bard realised she was right.

"Shit!" 

"Don't worry Da, five days is plenty of time to come up with something."

So, here he was, sat on his couch, laptop at the ready and cup of tea in his hand, trying to come up with a way to romance the pants off Thranduil. Not literally, although he wouldn't be adverse to that outcome. The only problem was that Bard had no ideas. He had, obviously gotten to know Thranduil very well over the last months. Every Saturday they spent together, they learnt new things about one another and so Bard knew who his favorite authors were, what food he liked best, that he loved everything and anything to do with nature. He'd also figured things out that hadn't needed to be said like how Thranduil would do literally anything for Legolas, how his favourite time of day was twilight because it muted the shock of his scars, how much he appreciated Galion even if he didn't admit it. Then there were the intimate things he knew about Thranduil. The way he liked to be kissed on the corner of his mouth, the delight he took in the gentle pulling of his hair and the sensitive spot in the hollow of his neck. Bard knew all of these things and more yet he had no clue where to start.

After Friday night, would he want to go somewhere public or stay at home? Should it be just the two of them, or would it better to involve the kids? What if Thranduil's scars were acting up that day? Should he stay over, invite Thranduil to his home? Sighing, Bard buried his head in his hands. He could do this. He just had to think. 

Inspiration struck after his third cup of tea.

Sometime later, Bard's plans were interrupted by a knock on the door. Looking up, he realised it was just past three. Sigrid would be home soon but he wouldn't need to go collect Tilda and Bain for another hour or so as they both ha after school clubs. Another knock had him hurrying towards the door, smile on his face despite not knowing who it was.

A woman greeted him when he finally got the door open. Tall and slender to the point where Bard worried about her health, the woman had short black hair and pointed features. Whilst not unattractive, there was an unsettling edge to the stranger that twisted what should have been good looks and set Bard on edge. His uneasy feeling was only amplified when the woman's hand shot out, connecting with his head and sending him rushing towards the floor and unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Bard and Thrandy. Why am I so mean to them?


	7. Shelob's Reevenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter contains light scenes of torture. If this could trigger you then please don't read, I'm more than happy to provide a detailed summary without the torture scenes, just ask.

"Ada, where's Bard?" Legolas' voice lacked its usual enthusiasm, as if he already knew something was terribly wrong. 

"I don't know Little Leaf. I don't know," and on the last word, Thranduil's voice broke, hopelessness crashing over him in waves. He'd arrived at Bard's house just before the police. The door had been open and Bard was nowhere to be found. He'd told the police all about the phone call and an abridged version of his history with Shelob (albeit one where he partook in no illegal activity). The looks the officers had shared had been grim and Thranduil had broken a little then, mind conjuring up images of everything that could be happening to Bard. 

Galion had arrived just a few minutes ago with Legolas, Bain and Tilda. Immediately, Bard's children had been whisked away by a female officer whilst Legolas had run straight over to his father. Now, Thranduil pulled his son close to him, both seeking comfort and wanting to give it. Perhaps Bard would be found soon, he tried to reassure himself, or he'd escape Shelob's clutches. One could always hope, though Thranduil realised numbness was spreading through him as if Bard were already dead. These dark thoughts were interrupted by a small weight thudding into his legs (thankfully whatever it was hit his right side first and not his weaker left one). Looking down, he saw a familiar brown haired-head.

"The woman said Da's missing. That he's been taken by someone. Are they going to hurt Da Mr. Thranduil?" Tilda stared up at him with wide sorrow filled eyes. Setting Legolas down beside her, Thranduil pulled both of them into a hug. He couldn't lie to Tilda, not when it was so far from the truth. So instead, he let her cry against him as he rubbed her back soothingly and after a while her sobs turned to sniffles before stopping all together. Stepping back, Thranduil realised Bain had been standing in front of them, his own eyes red rimmed and slightly puffy.

"You know, Sigrid's missing too. She was supposed to be back well before us but she's not here. She isn't anywhere," he informed them dully, head bowed and shoulders slumped. Thranduil broke a little more at this news. He couldn't help but think the Bowmans would've been better off never knowing him.

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Bard groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. Christ he hurt. There was a dull ache in his left temple but what really killed was the excruciating pain in his shoulders. They felt as if they were being ripped from their sockets, and it wasn't hard to see why: they were chained to a hook over his head, almost taking his full weight as only the tips of his toes reached the ground. 

Glancing around the small room, Bard took in the grey concrete walls and rust coloured stains littering the place. Instinctively, he knew they were caused by blood, which wasn't encouraging to say the least. The little light let in by the small window suggested he hadn't been out long, for which he was grateful, and then he remembered the woman who did this and true fear began to worm its way into his stomach. 

The prospect of dying didn't particularly concern him. Death came for everything in the end and Bard had accepted this after the passing of his wife. Knowing he was probably going to die in unimaginable pain had him a little more worried. He was almost definitely going to scream though Bard promised himself he would not beg. However, he was terrified of what was going to happen to his kids, to Legolas, to Thranduil. Bard knew his death wasn't going to satisfy Shelob and he was afraid of what further plans the woman had. 

His grim thoughts were interrupted by the opening of the door and there was nothing pleasant about the smile the woman who stepped through wore.

"Bard." His name was said warmly, almost intimately, as if they were old friends and perversely it was this that sent hatred rushing through his veins.

"Shelob," Bard managed to get out through gritted teeth. Shelob's smile widened.

"Clever. Elerrian was smart too. It seems Thranduil has a type."

Shelob approached him slowly. She moved with a casual elegance that seemed wrong on someone so evil. It wasn't until she was within touching distance that Bard realised she was holding a small, wickedly sharp looking knife.

"Hmmmm...I wonder if Thranduil would still look at you the same if I was to ruin that pretty face of yours?" The blade caressed his cheek almost lovingly, not pressing hard enough to actually cut him. "Although, it would be rather hypocritical of him wouldn't it? Tell me, how do you even manage to look at him with those scars? I confess, I rather enjoyed seeing how hideous he is now." 

Bard snarled in response to her mocking words, causing Shelob to cackle. "My, my you are rather delightful aren't you. It's almost enough to make me sorry for what I'm about to do," her voice dropped to a whisper and she pressed her lips close to Bard's left ear. "Almost."

And then it started. First was a long cut down his right arm, the knife drawn slowly over his skin from shoulder to wrist. It was artfully done, deep enough to cause immense pain but shallow enough to ensure he wouldn't die from blood loss. Bard didn't cry out until the third slash of the knife. By the tenth, he was screaming. 

Eventually, Shelob stood back, admiring her handiwork. Bard's head hung low, his whole body trembled and blood had soaked through his clothes. All in all, the knife had tasted Bard's flesh twenty seven times, Shelob skillfully wielding it for maximum pain whilst keeping blood loss to a minimum. Pulling out a phone, she leant forward to wrap an arm around Bard's waist.

"Selfie time! Say cheese!"

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It was five o'clock and Thranduil was back in his own home. He was slumped over the kitchen table, staring listlessly at the cup of tea Galion had placed in front of him. Across the table, Legolas, Tilda and Bain did the same. Bard's mother had proved unreachable so it had seemed natural for his kids to go home with Thranduil. Perhaps they could find some comfort in the familiar surroundings. 

As if in response to the situation, Thranduil's scars had flared up and he was in agony, the usual dull ache now sharper and more pronounced. Looking over at Bain and Tilda, he couldn't help searching their face for any accusation. He'd explained his connection to Shelob and he knew they'd be justified in blaming him for what was happening to their father and sister. Thranduil wasn't sure if Tilda had understood but Bain had. He'd braced himself for the anger, the hatred...but it hadn't come. Instead, the boy had reassured him that Shelob was a psychopath, insane and that Thranduil couldn't blame himself for her actions. Thranduil was pretty sure he'd welled up at that point but had been prevented from sobbing by all three of the children wrapping him up in a group hug. 

"Why don't we go into the living room? We can put Mulan on to watch whilst we wait for news." It wasn't good for them all to sit here thinking depressing thoughts about what was happening to Bard. Dully, the children nodded. Galion brought down blankets and Thranduil wrapped Tilda and Legolas up in one on the couch, giving another to Bain and saving one for himself. 

Halfway through the film , his phone vibrated and Thranduil quietly crept from the room, not wanting to disturb the children who had slipped into sleep. In the kitchen, he saw he had two new messages. Instantly, he knew who they were from. The police didn't text.

Steeling himself, Thranduil opened the first message and felt nausea rise up in him. Shelob's face was grinning up at him, smile so wide it was grotesque and next to her was Bard. His usually friendly face tight with pain, all color leached from it. The angle of the picture allowed him a sight of Bard's torso and he cried out at the cuts that littered it. Galion was by his side in an instant, letting Thranduil lean against him when his left leg threatened to collapse.

"You don't have to look at the next one," Galion said, voice tight with suppressed anger. He didn't know how someone could do this to a person as kind and warm as Bard. Thranduil shook his head. He owed it to Bard. Swiping the screen, it took him a second to work out what he was seeing but when he did....Thranduil stared in horror, cold shooting down his spine. 

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After snapping a few photos, Shelob disappeared from the room and Bard sighed with relief. Pain thrummed through his whole body and he was sure he'd dislocated his shoulders flinching away from Shelob's knife. He knew it wouldn't be long before the woman returned but for now he was grateful for the reprieve, however short.

He must have blacked out for suddenly, a cold hand was slapping him awake.

"Miss me?" Shelob asked in a sing song voice. "Look what I have in store for you Bard. Never say I don't know how to treat a guy." Managing to raise his head, Bard followed Shelob's hand to a tray set down on a table a little way from where he hung. His vision was a little fuzzy an the room was darker than it had been, but Bard could still make out the shape of a hammer, some pliers and a drill amongst other things. Before he could dwell on these, his eyes caught sight of something leaning against the wall. Shaking his head, he tried to tell himself he was mistaken but then Shelob's voice broke into his thoughts. "Oh, I see the Iron Mistress has caught your attention. You wouldn't believe how good she is at flaying skin. No really, I've never found a better whip. And don't worry, I've made sure Thrandy knows exactly what's in store for you." Bard closed his eyes at that and let his head drop. He couldn't bear the fact he was causing the other man even more pain after everything else he'd been through. "Well then, no time like the present. What should we start with first?"

Turning her back on Bard for a moment, Shelob perused the items on the tray, fingers trailing over the tools lovingly. Oh how I've missed this! She thought gleefully. So caught up in trying to decide how best to continue her torture of Bard was she that Shelob entirely missed the shadowy figure slinking into the room. In fact, Shelob didn't even notice when the figure raised their arms above their head, bringing down a hard back copy of Tolstoy's War and Peace upon Shelob's head with such force, she immediately dropped into unconsciousness, never to awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends Shelob. Good riddance

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it :)


End file.
